2023 was a hard year for our family. The year began with a miscarriage in January. Three months later, on my way to church with my two toddlers seated in the back, a teenager ran a red light and crashed into our vehicle, resulting in a total loss. Thankfully, no one was seriously injured.
A few days after the accident, I found out I was pregnant again—but just two months later, I would lose that baby as well.
At the time, I wrestled with intense inner turmoil. I began feeling resentment toward the Lord and was deeply confused as to why it seemed everything was working against me. When I reflected on my many, many sins, I knew I deserved far worse and had nothing to say to God, regardless of His reasons for allowing everything to happen. I battled despair from the miscarriages, trauma from the accident, and troubling thoughts about whether God was punishing me. It was, to say the least, a season of true humbling.
During those trials, my husband pointed me to James 1:2–4:
“Consider it pure joy… whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”
At the time, I couldn’t see what good work God could possibly be doing. And though I still don’t know the full picture, two years later, I can already see many blessings that God brought to our family through those hardships.
Just the year before, my husband and I had faced many rocky moments in our marriage. Yet during these trials, he was there for me—physically, emotionally, and spiritually—to support and build me up. Our marriage was strengthened in a way it might not have been otherwise.
Furthermore, due to the accident, we were also “forced” to get a new vehicle—one we needed anyway to accommodate our rapidly growing family. We learned to rely on the Lord in a deeper way—because we simply didn’t understand everything—and we learned not to take anything for granted.
Now, when I look back on that season of life, Romans 8:28 comes to mind:
“[I]n all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”
It’s not according to our faith, but according to His purpose—one rooted in unfailing compassion and love. Whatever we may be facing in life, it is God’s unending grace that carries us forward.
There’s a powerful illustration I heard recently from D. A. Carson that I hope will encourage you as well. It goes something like this:
Imagine two different Israelites on the night of the Passover. One is confident because he has applied the blood on his doorposts, just as God commanded. The other is still shaking with fear, overwhelmed by all the terrible plagues he’s witnessed over the past several weeks. Yet, after the angel of death passes over that night, neither one loses their firstborn. Why? Because their salvation wasn’t dependent on the strength of their faith, but on the power of the blood applied.
Of course, our lives are far from perfect, and we still wrestle with doubt—but through moments like these, our trust in the Lord is strengthened, and we strive to rest in the assurance of God’s love. Brothers and sisters, may we walk forward in full obedience, knowing that Christ has won the victory through the blood He shed for us on Calvary. While our faith is continually tested and molded in the midst of doubt and fear, may we remember that God’s love overcomes our darkest moments—and live in the confidence that the gates of hell will not prevail against us.
Grace Cho lives with her husband, Peter, and three kids (Roman, Ariella, and Judah), just 3 minutes from the old GRC Galway location in Teaneck. She is expecting their fourth child in January and loves serving in the praise team and Sunday school. When she isn’t running after her kids, she also enjoys getting to know people over coffee.